In the middle of the finals frustration, and with all the tension and pressure our Muslim students (males and females) face in this critical time of the semester, some how they found the time to compile the following list.
This list was compiled by some of the youth in Houston from www.crescentyouth.com forums. It is purely for the sake of a good laugh and nothing was taken really seriously so please appreciate the humor and don’t turn the comment section in to a debate.
So here it comes:
Thing no man should say to a woman:
1. You’re so cute when you’re angry.
2. Don’t you have some laundry to do or something?
3. You’re just upset cos you’re putting on weight.
4. You sure you don’t want to consult the great Oprah on this one?
5. Whoa, time out! Football is on.
6. Who are you kidding? We both know that thing ain’t loaded.
7. Dont ask her for any Advice on anything …especially if you want a quick answer
8. Dont ask her Which character in Twilight is best
9. Never try to understand why they make fun of you for playing video games, but when they buy 50 pairs of shoes it’s entirely rational
10. Aww (while rubbing her belly) Is it a girl or a boy?
11. That looks better on her.
12. Wait a minute, I get it. What time of the month is it?
13. Yes you look fat in this
14. Is this supposed to be biryani?
15. Tic-tac?
16. What …..I wasn’t listening?
17. ….(hands over mach 3)…. ” i think you need this more than i do”
18. you look better with the Hijab!
19. I know its haram…but you REALLY need to do something about them eyebrows!
20. Are you pregnant or is that just fat
21. I am bringing my mother along
22. My mom cooks better than you (or) I like my mom’s food better.
23. Call her Sister A when her name is really Sister X
24. Heeeeey……I payed good money
25. I love you …….for the sake of Allah
26. Your friend is good looking, whats her name? is she married?
27. Baby… you know its a stressed sunnah to have the second wife? I just want to follow me deen
28. Not recognize her voice on the phone, interrupt her , and ask …..excuse me but who is this?
29. Baby, I’m coming out of the closet…
30. (while in a fight you say…) … yea..that’s what she said!
31. Be thankful, I had other rishtas to choose from (or) I kinda just did eeny meeny miney mo. I shoulda started on the right side.”
32. You have man-feet
33. Hey…(call her name and say) …bring the miswak and come
34. On the first day marriage you say…..but that’s not how my mother described you!
35. What is this? It’s not halloween you know?
36. Biryani in 20 mins. Oh, and did I mention I invited everyone that came for Isha?
37. We should have another baby….. lets make 9 children even!
38. your beautiful…. but I’ve seen better!
39. …..you go……(obviously in a fobby accent)
40. In a heated discussion you say…..you’re being irrational.
41. Baby, calm down
42. When she asked, Do you notice anything different about my hair? you look at her and say… umm… nope
Things no woman should say to a man:
1. Let me get that, it looks too heavy on you
2. Did you try Rogain?
3. I need to buy you Head&shoulders, looks like your beard has dandruff
4. Can I have a bite of that?
5. You can’t throw
6. Don’t worry, I’ll pay for it.
7. Can I drive?
8. Just quit your job, I make way more money than you anyways
9. Baby, I need new shoes.
10. Stop playing video games. Time you grew up.
11. Tonight’s dinner will be vegetarian food and yes, that’s tofu.
12. I didn’t cook anything…
13. I WONNN (after playing his favorite video game)
14. Does fuchsia look better on me or burgundy? What about this mauve Hijab?
15. ….but WHY???
16. You can always watch the game later.
17. Why can’t you be like her husband!
18. You don’t love me anymore!
19. Why did I settle for you?
20. When a husband calls… pick up and call him someone esle’s name.
21. When he asked to marry her, she said…try Again ….in 3 months”
22. Its either me or your mom
23. Babe, he is just a friend
24. Why don’t you buy me nice things anymore?
25. Can I borrow your credit card?
26. *looks at bill* I don’t know… you’re credit card just happened to be in my wallet at the time…
27. The brother looks at bill then looks up to her and say…. what??? u have a credit card in my name and u didn’t tell me?
28. How do you like sleeping on the couch tonight!
29. Just remember … I get half your money, the house, and the kids
30. I can’t find the remote.
31. Hold on…hand me that polishing rag for a sec..(rubs man’s head a little)…there! Now I can see myself!
32. Sorry, I forgot to buy your [insert his favorite food].
33. Aww honey, you’re not short, you’re just space efficient.
34. Lets watch (this romantic movie) again!
35. Sometimes I feel like you treat your car better than me
36. Lets arm wrestle (then the woman wins)….. ouch
37. I only said yes to make my parents happy
38. You were my safety guy.
39. Who would you marry if I died
40. You forgot our anniversary. I already set the couch for you to sleep on tonight
41. Does this picture make me look less fat or is it just the lighting.
42. I want to be your only wife.
43. (My absolute favorite) There is no good answer, you are doomed either way.
